Eat Pussy Not Animals.: Archive

*Hears noises at night*: Well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
*Gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I going to go on
*Heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
*A cop walks by*: Here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
*Taking a test*: Don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school
*Gets a sunburn*: Skin cancer

Jun 30, 2012244,423 notes

Jun 30, 201212,372 notes

Jun 30, 2012107,320 notes

Jun 30, 2012315 notes

joltiks

gaykittens:

joltikism:

thankengine:

joltiks

joltiks

joltiks

Jun 30, 20127 notes

Guess what happened at work?

A cute girl hit on me and gave me her number.

And by cute, I mean. Hot as fuck.
Tattooed. Pierced. Shaved head.
A really soothing voice.

GUESS WHOS GOT A DATE.

Jun 30, 20124 notes

Jun 29, 20127,136 notes

Listen

sweet-bitsy:

Jun 29, 2012351,257 notes

Me: How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Mom: He's black
Me:
Mom:
Me:
Mom:
Me: You look for fresh prints, but oh my God

Jun 29, 2012119,185 notes

Jun 29, 201215,694 notes

Jun 29, 20125,320 notes

Jun 29, 201276,910 notes

Me: Hey close the door
Parent: *leaves the door open 2 centimeters*
Me: *dying whale noise*

Jun 29, 2012151,357 notes

Feel old?

Shrek 1: Came out 11 years ago
Monsters Inc: Came out 11 years ago
Dylan and Cole Sprouse: 20 years old
Miley Cyrus: Engaged
Hillary Duff: Mom
That's so Raven: Been off TV for 6 years
Lizzie McGuire: Ended 9 years ago
Powerpuff Girls: Came out 14 years ago
Kim Possible: Last episode was 7 years ago

Jun 29, 2012198,193 notes

a-rebel-to-the-idea:

firelordazula:

basedgosh:

which horny geologist named this mineral

Now I want a shirt that says ‘If you get with me you will be (Mg,Fe)₇Si₈O₂₂(OH)₂’

holy shit, i want that shirt.

Jun 29, 2012108,380 notes

himapapaftw:

people who think a zombie apocalypse would be cool

Jun 29, 201230,143 notes

Jun 29, 201217,256 notes