- *Hears noises at night*: Well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
- *Gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I going to go on
- *Heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
- *A cop walks by*: Here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
- *Taking a test*: Don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school
- *Gets a sunburn*: Skin cancer
Guess what happened at work?
A cute girl hit on me and gave me her number.
And by cute, I mean. Hot as fuck.
Tattooed. Pierced. Shaved head.
A really soothing voice.
GUESS WHOS GOT A DATE.
- Me: How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
- Mom: He's black
- Me: You look for fresh prints, but oh my God
- Me: Hey close the door
- Parent: *leaves the door open 2 centimeters*
- Me: *dying whale noise*
- Shrek 1: Came out 11 years ago
- Monsters Inc: Came out 11 years ago
- Dylan and Cole Sprouse: 20 years old
- Miley Cyrus: Engaged
- Hillary Duff: Mom
- That's so Raven: Been off TV for 6 years
- Lizzie McGuire: Ended 9 years ago
- Powerpuff Girls: Came out 14 years ago
- Kim Possible: Last episode was 7 years ago